Parenting Through Uncertainty: What MS Taught Our Family
"Dad, are you going to be in a wheelchair?"
My oldest daughter asked me that question shortly after I was diagnosed with MS. She was young. Her sister was even younger. They didn't really know what multiple sclerosis was. Truthfully, I was still trying to understand it myself.
What I remember most isn't having the answer. It's wanting to reassure my daughters while carrying so much uncertainty of my own. As a parent, one of the hardest parts wasn't explaining MS. It was navigating the tension between wanting to protect my children while accepting that I couldn't predict what the future would look like.
A diagnosis doesn't happen in isolation. It happens in the middle of family life. School drop-offs. Soccer games. Homework. Bedtime routines. Tying shoes. All the ordinary moments that continue even when life suddenly feels anything but ordinary.
There were practical reminders, too. At one point, symptoms affecting my hands made it difficult to tie my youngest daughter's shoes. It seems like such a small thing until you realize how much of parenting is wrapped up in the everyday tasks you've always taken for granted.
As parents, we want to be the ones helping. The ones carrying, fixing, supporting, and protecting. We don't naturally imagine being the one who needs help. I certainly didn't. Like many people living with a chronic condition, I spent a lot of time trying to prove that nothing had changed. I kept working. I stayed active. I pushed through fatigue. I tried to maintain the same pace and do just as much as I always had.
Some of that determination served me well. Some of it was resistance. One of the biggest lessons MS taught me was that asking for help is not the same as giving up. It didn't come naturally to me. It still doesn't always come naturally.
As parents, we want to reassure our children. As adults, we often try to reassure ourselves. Sometimes that means pretending nothing has changed. Sometimes growth begins when we finally accept that something has.
Over time, I've learned that adaptation is not weakness. It's a skill. Whether the transition is a diagnosis, becoming a caregiver, raising children, or navigating the realities of aging, life has a way of presenting challenges we didn't plan for and can't fully control.
We don't get to choose every circumstance. We do get to choose how we respond. That lesson eventually led me to health coaching, workshops, and community education focused on helping people navigate change, build sustainable habits, and live well through life's transitions. Not because I have all the answers. Because I've lived many of the questions.
Today, I'm incredibly grateful. My MS has not progressed the way I once feared it might. I'm fortunate to remain active, continue exploring the outdoors, stay engaged with my family, and support others through coaching, education, advocacy, and peer support.
But when I look back, one of the things I'm most proud of isn't how I've managed MS. It's who my daughters have become. They've supported me through the ups and downs. They've participated in Walk MS and other community events. They've learned about disability, awareness, inclusion, empathy, and resilience in ways I never could have planned. Not because I intentionally set out to teach those lessons. They've embraced those values and made them their own.
MS became part of our family's story. It never became the whole story. And while it's not a path I would have chosen, watching my daughters grow into compassionate, thoughtful young women is one of the gifts I never expected to find along the way.
Life doesn't always go according to plan. But growth, connection, and purpose remain possible even when the path changes.
Grow from where you are.
About Joel Riciputi
Joel is an integrative health coach and educator at Rooted Rise Health, working with people navigating chronic illness, healthy aging and life transitions. He lives with MS himself and brings both lived experience and evidence-based coaching to his work. Joel is a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC) and a UC San Diego certified Health and Wellness coach.
Ready to talk?
A free discovery call is a good place to start. No agenda, no pressure. Just a conversation about
where you are and where you'd like to go.
By clicking on the "Let's Talk" button, you'll be directed to Vibly, a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform where all scheduling, messaging, and coaching sessions are managed. Your privacy is protected every step of the way.
Comments